i ask myself that all the time. i know the answer of course, but not many other people do.
some days i just don't know what to do. i find my studio is just calling to me and it's hard to concentrate on much else. That could be a good thing, only my youngest child is quite the challenge lately. I've written about her before but i do try to keep this blog mostly about clay. but kylie is having a direct impact on my work and my sanity in general. she's 18mos old and only has a handful of words. i can handle that, my son has apraxia and has been in various therapies 1/2 his life. but he was easy compared to kylie. she has undiagnosed medical problems, nothing life threatening thank goodness. but after going through so many tests it's possible she may have the same 'unknown' problem as a kid in boston. i'm talking about her being case #2. but that doesn't really impact our daily lives like her sensory problems. the kid screams 1/2 the day. the smallest thing sets her off for hours. often i get nervous trying to take her anywhere. she doesn't want to be held. she doesn't want to be put down. she throws herself on the floor and thrashes. i worry about her hurting herself when she's like this so i put her in her crib and let her scream it out. i've recently set up a little tent in her room where she can go for some quiet time. i've bought her a pressure vest to see if it will help. i'm setting up a therapy swing in her room. i've tried brushing, deep pressure, joint compressions. nothing really makes a difference. she goes to OT (occupational therapy) every other week, and i'm trying to get it upped to weekly visits. her OT is stumped. her speech therapist is stumped. nobody knows what's going on with this little girl. we've been to the genetics hosp in helena and they haven't been any help at all, of course they're mostly looking at her medical issues. she's as smart as can be and understands just about everythign we tell her, i guess since she's not mentally impared it's not their area. our doc is supposedly trying to find somebody we can see aobut all this but i haven't heard back from her yet. some days i jsut don't know what to do. if it wasn't for my studio i think i'd be a stark raving lunatic.
i know there are other parents out there in the same boat, some have it much worse than i do. but it's still hard some days. this is one of those days i think. she's finally cried herself out in her crib and i'm pretty sure she's asleep. i'm honestly afraid to look, don't want to disturb the quiet. hopefully she'll wake up and be the happy little munchkin we all love. but if it's the Screaming Meanie as i've come to think of her when she's having a fit i'll still love her too.
so now i'm going down to my studio for my own 'therapy'. i've been staying up pretty late the last few nights, it seems to be the only time i can get anything done. if things go as planned i'll be bisque firing a load this weekend. i've got soup bowls, mugs, a gorgeous custom wedding platter, couple of planters, that teapot i made a few weeks back, and something that was supposed to be a yarn bowl but i let it dry out too much so it's just a bowl lol. maybe i'll post some pictures if i have the time.
Kim, sometimes there just is no medical reason for these things. It's just the child expressing. We have neighbours near by who have a young girl (the youngest of her siblings, notable maybe?) who for the first couple of years after they moved into the house, would scream for hours upon end, for no discernible reason. It was so bad that social services came and took the children away from their parents fearing they were being abused. A week later they were returned. The child just screamed and nothing social services did made a difference.
ReplyDeleteThis year the girl is around three and the screaming has almost completely stopped. She's just grown out of it.
My point I suppose is: things can get better with time; and not every problem with children is medical. We have a tendency to assume the worse, as parents. So, chin up and start hiring lots of babysitters to give yourself a regular break, before you go bonkers.
Mark.
i'll keep you in my thoughts- mothering is not for the weak.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck.
I too have seen kids move past this stage as they finally figure out how to put words together.
thanks mark and meredith. i know she'll grow out of it eventually, we just have to figure out what works for her as far as her sensory diet goes. it's like walking on eggshells, you never know what's going to set her off. she has no self regulation, once she gets going she doesn't know how to stop. her lack of speech definitely contributes to the problem, there's this weird disconnect as far as speech goes. she doesn't even get the sign language we're using, not a clue.
ReplyDeletei did get in some studio time today so i'm feeling a little better about things right now. :)
meredith, i did get your email, haven't gotten a chance to write back. don't want you to think i forgot about you
Hi Kim,
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot to handle. I hope and pray that you find some answers to help mellow Kylie's symptoms. She's a beautiful precious baby. I just love those little curls in her hair. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm glad you have your pottery.
Hugs to you~
Cindy
Oh Kim, I've got nothing to complain about when I hear about your troubles, I think Mark gives some sage advice about getting a babysitter to help out and give yourself a break. I do hope Kylie feels better soon. I took care of my father in law for seven years and I wish now I had taken more breaks for myself. In the long run it would have been bette for him and for Gary and I. My thoughts are with you, yes, thank goodness for clay.
ReplyDelete